Thursday, January 7, 2010

Questions of Confession

Just wondering this morning.....
About a man.

Yesterday as I was driving to my parent's house to visit with my mom I saw an older man walking down the street. I immediately recognized him. When I used to live at home I would see him daily...just walking. All year long he walks up and down Coulter wearing a small little jacket and a hat. I am almost 100% positive he is homeless. We've seen him in the Wal-Mart parking lot helping people unload groceries in hopes for a tip.

Anyway when I saw him yesterday my heart sunk because I remembered the incoming cold front and I wondered where he would be staying. my own selfish heart- I walked into my parent's nice, warm home, I was greeted with a beautiful smile and instantly I forgot about the poor walking man, just as I had done about a million times before. As a family we have talked or maybe just mentioned helping him out...But we were stopped because we just didn't know how to help or if he wanted our help etc....

So last night Jacob and I crawled in our nice warm bed, with our heater on and our electric blankets on high. Jacob kissed me goodnight and I rolled over to talk to God for a bit. I was instantly reminded of the walking man. I started praying for him and I got so angry with myself. I rolled back over and woke Jacob up. As tears were streaming down my face I asked where Jacob thought that little old man was tonight. The wind was howling outside our window and my heart was literally broken for him and because of my own selfishness. You see I had spent a good amount of the day yesterday dwelling on some family issues. In the midst of dysfunction and confusion that I am certain every family goes through I found myself being reminded that it could be worse. It could be so much worse. I changed my selfish prayers of "blessings" and me, me, me to prayers of that man, of our family, of genuine forgiveness even for those who truly do not deserve it, and of others families with bigger problems than mine...The Mooneyham's for example (

I am thankful for the wake up call that came to me last night. Jacob promised next time we saw that little man that he would talk to him. I wonder what his story is. I wonder if he has a family...and if he does, then because he has no one to go home to, then it must be worse than the situation with mine. I know that we serve a mighty and powerful God who CAN and WILL heal anything. I anxiously await for him to come in and save and in the meantime I want hide in His arms.

But I say all of that to say this...We each hold our own set problems. Problems that we are certain no one would understand, or that no one can compare too. We make up our minds to feel sorry for ourselves because no one's stuff is as messed up as ours and no one has been hurt as bad as we have. But in reality, somebody is always worse off than you! Maybe take a minute to pray for someone else's problems instead of your own. Maybe your heart will change when thinking of someone else, maybe your heart will soften and you will know that sometimes the right thing and the hardest things are the same thing.

I hope you all have a blessed and WARM Thursday!

P.S. I can't leave without saying LET'S GO LONGHORNS!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOOK EM'

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